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The Power of Defining Moments and How They Direct the Course of Our Lives

Yes, beauty is so much more than skin deep, but, as estheticians, so is the connection we share with our customers.

We can produce stellar results for our clients, however, now more than ever clients won’t just come to you because of the results you provide; instead they need to feel a personal connection, which is built through a term most commonly known as your “know, like, and trust factor.”

Your know, like and trust factor is the ultimate trifecta, the combination of attributes that attract a potential client to you, captures their attention to the point of becoming a client, and remaining loyal to you and your business.

Gone are the days of “professional perfection” where we simply needed to look the part and pulled together and communicate our expertise clearly.

Now, consumers want authenticity, and they want a deeper connection to feel like they’re going to vibe with your personality and your energy when they enter your treatment room.

This level of connection and authenticity requires that you reveal more of your true self to your clients, which can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, but this openness has to be embraced if you want to be a magnet for your dream clients.

It’s a fear I’ve had to battle first-hand, and it all started at the inaugural Beauty Business Summit in Hawaii last year…

As I listened to industry leaders, all whom I admire greatly, share their failures, and how they turned those life experiences into successes, I took notice of how many heads were nodding in the room.

This awakening moment wasn’t one I alone needed to hear, which is why I’m sharing this story with you now: to pass along what for me has been a liberating lesson and allowed me to acknowledge what was at that time my most painful life experience, and now see it through a lens of gratitude that has fueled my growth, both personally and professionally.

Before the Summit, I was chasing perfection to the point that I was suppressing my painful personal struggles out of fear of not fitting into the “picture perfect” (i.e., unrealistic) standards I was holding myself to.

It was in the sweet silence on the flight home that I had the eye-opening realization that the struggles and “failures” that we endure are not what define us, rather, how we handle those struggles and experiences is what carves our character and shapes our life’s path.  

The defining moment that set me on a life path more exciting than ever imaginable was, at the time, more of a defining circumstance.

It all stemmed from the most unexpected and painful loss of my Dad on my 24th birthday.

Initially, after his continuation, I isolated myself and was thrown into a dark depression that I carried with me until the defining moment that “tomorrow is never promised, stop playing small” slapped me across the face.

The fear of forgetting his voice set in shortly after my Dad’s passing, so I started journaling in efforts to help me recall as many conversations I could remember. It was then that I remembered the synchronistic conversation we had the very week he left.

It was the first time I had shared the idea for my business with someone other than my life partner. My Dad bragged that the entrepreneurial spirit came from him, and he shared his start-up biz lessons and recommended that I follow what I felt called to do, especially while being young and healthy.

After reflecting on that memory, I began to feel the light pour in, and I had the epiphany that he could have passed on from this lifetime on any day, at any time, (as could any of us) and what a special gift it is that he exited on the same date I was brought into this world.

It serves as a clear reminder to live life to the fullest and to never, ever, let love, gratitude, and appreciation go unsaid.

Had I not had this epiphany, this experience could have easily been an excuse to give up on expanding into my dream and instead stay in isolation to numb the pain associated with losing someone so close.

Instead, I chose to see this as a beautiful reminder of how precious life is and also as a source of inspiration for this journey into the deep, soulful creation of my business.  This lesson of appreciation has gifted me with one of the most valuable leadership qualities, the ability to give frequent and sincere appreciation to others and for that, I am grateful for my Dad is with me every time I sing praises.

So you see, defining moments are circumstances or things that challenge you. They are often forks in the road, cloaked in fear, but mark the decisions that could set you on a completely different life path.

Your defining moment is your rising, your growth, and your expansion!

When we are in the muck of a tough time, a shift of perspective can transform a negative to a positive, raising our own personal frequency and subsequently raising the energy and vibration of those around us creating a ripple effect further than our minds can comprehend.  

And our personal pain points are like arrows directing us toward our expansion and freedom if we move through them consciously.

If you are able to shift your thought patterns (I wrote on this in a blog article on neuroplasticity and mindfulness that you can read by clicking here) and ask yourself, “what is this teaching me?” instead of the contrary, “why is this happening to me?” we take power over circumstances that feel beyond our control and become open to a new and much more productive perspective.

The defining moment of my Dad’s continuation stimulated an eager curiosity toward thoughts and feelings that were once extremely uncomfortable.

And only by diving into and working through past traumas have I been able to navigate to my current path of healing, exploration, and excitement to learn and grow in every aspect.

It was through a 3-day Dale Carnegie training that I got to practice articulating myself as I communicated this defining moment with a group of peers. My intention in sharing the following exercise with you is to help you clearly communicate your defining moment.

Speaking from my experience, getting clear on this defining moment is not only cathartic, but also increases self-confidence and validation that will allow you to become more open, authentic, and vulnerable both with yourself and others.

An Exercise for Communicating Your Defining Moments  

Journal the answers to the questions below to communicate your defining moment with clarity and conciseness.

From there, consider taking action in sharing through your social media or even on your website for those people who you want to magnetize who want to know what lies beyond the surface and get to know the REAL you.

I also invite you to leave your defining moments in the comments section of this post so we can uplift and encourage each other.

  • Jot down three defining moments:




  • The one incident I will use is:


  • Details I will cover in my incident:

  • What this says about me:

  • Ideas I will put into ACTION:

As you look at and awaken to your defining moments, it’s spectacular to see how we can be one decision away from a completely different life path.

And I know this exercise may bring up fear or vulnerability jitters for you, but I want to leave you with one last reminder and encouragement:

When we live and share our true identity instead of chasing perfection, we heal ourselves and help others through our story, creating a connective bond between ourselves and other beings. That, in my opinion, is truly the sacred practice of living yoga and in unity.

The light in me honors the light in you, Namaste.

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